On a hill at a countryside
Lived once a Super Duck – DJ Kide
Clever and fit, you call him nearly perfect
Boy, wasn’t he the coolest stud?
He could workout hours in gym
Without aching his muscles a bit
He could solve sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn’t read.
He knew what made an rocket fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He could spice up late night parties
He had all the charm to turn on hotties
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn’t puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
His smart brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He was drunk and sober but still
He jumped up like a cha cha dancer
And yelled, ‘Holy duck, I’ve got the answer! ‘
They want my white meat slice by slice
‘To sell at a tremendous price!
‘They want my tender juicy chops
‘To put in all the butcher’s shops!
‘They want my breast to make a roast
‘And that’s the part’ll cost the most!
‘The butcher’s shop! The carving knife!
‘That is the reason for my life! ‘
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a hotshot duck peace of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Wand,
A pail of duck food in his hand,
And our Kide with a mighty bullet round,
Knocked down the farmer on the ground …
Now comes the rather grisly bit
So let’s not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Duck did eat Farmer Wand,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
He even called his friends on the feast
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Duck, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
‘I had a fairly powerful hunch
‘That he might have me for his lunch.
‘And so, because I feared the worst,
‘I thought I’d better eat him first.’
PS:- The entire poem is a pure work of fiction and has absolutely no relation with reality whatsoever! Full credit goes to Roald Dahl whose poem “The Pig” inspired me to remake this.